Wednesday, March 29

Upstairs, downstairs

So, I was watching A History of Violence last night, and instead of thinking, "Oh, the cool mysteriousness/cinematic brilliance of it all," I was thinking, "Does anyone actually have sex on the stairs? Because I can't think of anything more uncomfortable." Yeah, that's it, folks, I wasn't paying attention to the hard-core blood splatters because I couldn't get the sex on the stairs out of my head. So painful! And while the chick is certainly getting the, ah, raw end of the deal here, it doesn't look easy for the guy, either. I mean, how do you get your footing in that situation?

Seriously, is sex on the stairs an everyday phenomenon and I have the most boring sex life ever or is Hollywood totally out of its mind? Because, in addition to History, I can think of two other sex-on-stairs movies: The Thomas Crown Affair (Pierce Brosnan version) and The Lover. I know there are others, though. Which ones am I forgetting? (Oh, right, like you dirty bitches don't catalogue this shit in your head, too.)

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