This could mean trouble

There is a Mountain Dew store now on Amazon. This is so exciting, there are no words. My bank account may be screwed, but I see good things ahead for my wishlist. (And, yes, I did hear about this via the Dewsletter.)

Some pictures say it all

I promised more pictures, and here's one of my favorites. Let's face it, people: You can put the woman in a fancy dress, slather on the makeup and false eyelashes, and throw jewelry and a manicure in the mix, but she's still the same Jen. I always do the Dew, even on my wedding day.

My friend Lisa Scanlon Mogolov got this great shot, but our fantastic photographers Max and Cyndi from Hitched Studios got even more. Check them out on their blog, if you're so inclined. I'll try to make this my last wedding post, but somehow, it seems unlikely.

How do you Dew?

Okay, so I haven't really come to terms with the new Mountain Dew label yet. I'm slow to change, people, and they messed with a perfectly good thing. (And they shortened Mountain to "Mtn," which is both incorrect and annoying. Truth be told, I still prefer the label of my youth, when we were "Dew-ing it country cool," but I'll let that go for now.) Bygones. The point is, my latest Dewsletter informs me that they now have a history of the Dew available on their website. Which is freaking awesome, once you get past the kind of creepy intro video. Looking at the evolution of a label over time is pretty cool -- and it reaffirms my distaste for the current logo. Bonus.

Back to basics

All you need is love and Mountain Dew.

And Amie. Don't forget Amie.

Ode on a Mountain Dew

Yesterday, I was explaining the joys of Jim's Big Ego to my student worker (she's young, so she doesn't know). I made her listen to Stress, which is just ... perfect, if you don't already know that. (Sand fleas? Sand fleas!) But then I had to describe what really won me over to Jim and his musical stylings: a cover of Feelin' Groovy. In its original format, Feelin' Groovy is pretty mellow and chill -- but Jim amps it up a little, and at one point shouts, "Doin' the Dew -- and feeling groovy!" (You may need to actually hear it to appreciate it. Or you may need a serious, as-yet-to-be-treated addiction to Mountain Dew. One of those two.) That's not the point; the point is this: I lamented to Erica that Jim was as close as I'd come to anyone rhapsodizing about the Dew. Modern poets just don't seem inspired to immortalize a soda. Erica said it was up to me to do the Dew justice, so here goes:

Thou still unravished bride of yellowness...

What color happiness?

What color is Mountain Dew? Yellow? Green? Greenish yellow? Yellowish green? And why is it the only thing on the planet guaranteed to bring me joy?

This is what keeps me up at night, people. Well, that and the thought of turning 30 without ever having left the freaking country.

A bite of the Big Apple

You know, the more I realize New York is all about food, the more I like the city. Don't get me wrong, it's still a land of chaos and evil (where, it's true, some cool people live). Despite the work of Satan's minions that goes on here, there are some good times to be had.

For instance, tonight I had dinner at the Brooklyn Diner, and I sat in a booth where once Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker sat. There, with my ass practically communing with precious celebrity ass, I ate the world's largest quantity of pot roast and strawberry-blonde cheesecake. Then I hauled myself to see Wicked, my very first New York show. And it was ridiculously fun. Then I returned home to the Hilton, ready to blog and drink Mountain Dew from a wine glass. I'm telling you, this city is classing me up or something.

Tomorrow night, I'm eating at Craft. And then, then I'm rolling myself home. In honor of all this deliciousness, I give you A Blithe Palate. (See how I'm all super-sneaky about the blog of the day? I think NYC's ways may be rubbing off on me.)

Uhh, I think we might have a problem here

I finally (finally!) won an iTunes song via a Mountain Dew cap. I mean, I drink more Dew than anyone on the planet, I should have won 8 billion frickin' songs by now, but no. So I plug in my nifty code this morning, and I revel briefly in the pleasure of contemplating what song I'm going to get for free. I pretty quickly conclude that Landed is going to be mine, because what I need in my life is more music to slit your wrists by.

And now I've got it on permanent loop. Wish me luck.

Yip-ee

Okay, so in addition to the Dewsletter, I also receive the official Vern Yip newsletter. You got a problem with that? The man is a design god. What he does with silk pillows is just fucking amazing, people.

The newsletter informed me that the man will be returning to the airwaves on NBC's special Home Intervention this Sunday. What the fuck? First the draft, and now Vern? My VCR is going to be totally overworked this weekend.

Doing the Dew

Okay, I may be a raging freak, but I enjoy receiving my Dewsletter. (Yeah, that's right, I get a newsletter from Mountain Dew. It's not just a tasty beverage, it's a way of life.) This week, however, was a different story. They wrote to announce the arrival of Baja Blast Mountain Dew. (It's Mountain Dew blasted with tropical lime!) That's it, people. I've had it. There is Mountain Dew and there is (if you must) Diet Mountain Dew. There are no others. Period. Code Red? Unacceptable. LiveWire? Unthinkable. Baja Blast? Oh, god, please just make it end.

I need a drink. Or this shirt. Yes. This shirt would definitely ease my pain. And so would this one.

Update: Oh, the horror. Iszi has brought to my attention Pitch Black, yet another wrong wreaked upon mankind by the makers of Mountain Dew. Just in time for Halloween, you can now enjoy your Dew with a "burst of black grape flavor." I can't go on.

It's all about self-knowledge

Today, two things became overwhelmingly apparent to me: I will do just about anything to piss someone off, and Mountain Dew brings me incomparable joy.

Which one of these things disturbs me more? You decide.

Twisted and wrong

I had a Minute Maid "fruit soda" this morning. This is wrong on so many levels, it's hard to even put it into words. First, the can proudly proclaims that this beverage is made "with real fruit juice!" Now, if I wanted fruit juice, I would have gone to the juice machine. Second, this beverage is not a fruit soda -- it's orange pop. I was a little concerned before drinking it that it would be a fruit soda and I'd have to spit it out in a comical display of Jen's body reacting negatively to anything containing essential nutrients, but no. And the final and most twisted and wrong thing about this whole episode: I wanted a root beer. I pushed the button for the root beer (a Barq's -- it's got bite). The machine gave me Valencia Orange fruit soda.

All because my Mountain Dew wasn't cold yet.

It's . . . orange

April and Leigh bought me my first LiveWire Mountain Dew this morning. Yes, I know I said that I would never drink this stuff, but I haven't been grocery shopping in approximately 800 years, so this morning I was out of the Dew. And, the website is quick to point out that "LiveWire has the same caffeine level as Regular Mountain Dew." And we're on deadline. I need the juice, people.

As for the taste...well, it tasted orange. Not orange like the delicious citrus fruit, but like the color. (Anyone who has lived in Ohio or has tasted the culinary delight that is RedPop knows how colors can have flavors.) It tasted orange with kind of a bitter Dew aftertaste. I don't know if this is the "tongue-zapping orange ignited flavor only Mountain Dew can deliver" that the advertising promises or not, but I'm pretty sure I won't be drinking this again.

Doin' the Dew

Yes, I drink Mountain Dew. I know this means I am either a) a boy who sits around programming all day or b) a snow-boarding, extreme-sports-loving, wild and crazy boy who sits around programming all day.

But this time, the Dew has gone too far: I get my Dewsletter today, and they are advertising my chance to get an advance taste of this:

LiveWire Dew.
I don't know what it is, but it's orange. And much like the supremely nasto Code Red Dew, I gotta say: No.