It's like the Neverending Story but without the cool luck dragon or any fun at all

I'm trying once again to get my sorry ass in shape. Much like eating healthy, I feel this is a never-ending battle that I will probably bitch about for the rest of my life. (Sorry.) For those of you who've been following along for far too long, the days of my being able to run a 10K (hell, even a 5K at this point) are long past. I'd like to get back there, however, as getting out of breath going up the stairs is distinctly un-cool. To that end, I've made a goal with a friend to be able to run a 5K again by Thanksgiving. The only stipulations: no walking, no puking, no falling. It may take me three days to run this bitch, but by god, I'll do it. To further that end, J.R. and I bought FitBits last night. Sure, website-enabled activity tracking, blah, blah, blah. There are badges, people. And what are badges like? Achievements. And I think we all know what I will do for those.

Dashing through the rain

J.R. and I took the boys to walk the 5K Dawg Dash this morning. It was a lovely Seattle day, complete with mild rain, a break of sun, all followed by some delightful pouring rain. I was completely soaked by the time we got to the car, and the dogs looked pretty pathetic as well. We made decent time, but we weren't really out to break speed records, just get in three miles of exercise. So we could self-righteously eat fast food -- which we did (though we were good and got baked potatoes and chili at Wendy's). The drive-through guy commended us for being good UW fans, as we were sporting our purple Dash shirts. We quickly renounced all allegiance to the Huskies, and admitted we'd just run a 5K.

I don't know if we'll do it again next year, as the course was a double 5K/10K and it really needed better differentiation between the two. It was nice to be able to take the dogs, though.

She's going the distance

I did not go for speed, but I managed to run all 3.1 miles of my first 5K race in over two years. I was very, very tired at the end. Now I need to find another race in a month or so -- that way I can actually be prepared to run the whole race, not just eke by on adrenaline. Bygones. The Iron Girl action was pretty rocking, and the whole event was well-organized. (Crucial in an event that starts so early in the morning!) The Iron Girl Seattle was a good choice for my return to running, too -- a nice flat course next to the water. It would have been perfect if it had been just a wee bit cooler. Next year.

And speaking of getting things done, I have made it through Emma and Persuasion, and I am now on my final Austen novel: Northanger Abbey. I have eight days to read it in order to say I finished them all this summer. I have faith that I can make it. (Quick reviews for those who care: Emma = Eh. Liked Clueless better. Persuasion = Fast read, good stuff. Might be my second fave after P&P.)

Aged

I've decided that money is pretty much the only thing that gets my ass in gear, so with that in mind, I put my money down and signed up for a 5K in September. It will be my first race in more than two years, and I am woefully out of shape. I'm doing the couch to 5K thing (with my own modifications), but yesterday, I thought I'd mix it up a bit and try the Wii Fit. And then it promptly confirmed, that yes, I am ridiculously out of shape and have the fitness of an out-of-shape 45-year-old. Great. Thanks for the affirmation, Nintendo. After tooling around on it a bit (I think I was sweating more from the heat than from exertion, but I got fitness points anyway), I tried Wii Sports. Which promptly informed me that the Wii Fit was being nice, and I was really an 80-year-old woman. An out-of-shape 80-year-old woman.

I am not Mike Timlin, and I will not eat your heart

Just because you buy Black Betty and play it really loudly on your iPod, you are not Mike Timlin.* And I'm not sure if Mike Timlin can run really fast (though I am pretty sure he will eat your heart), but when Black Betty came on, I booked it. When the song was over, I briefly considered throwing up, but I soldiered on. Mike would have been proud.

Other songs that may inspire me to run so fast I want to hurl include, but are not limited to: Calling All Friends, Low Stars (I can't help it, I love What About Brian); Don't Cha and Buttons, Pussycat Dolls (I have no shame); Now That We've Found Love, Heavy D & the Boyz; Smooth Criminal, Alien Ant Farm edition; Pump It, Black Eyed Peas; Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky), Bill Conti (if you see some crazy girl running on the streets of JP with her fists in the air, triumphant, you know what happened); Epic, Faith No More; Crazy in Love, Beyonce; Can't Get You Out of My Head, Kylie Minogue; (More Bounce in) California, Soul Kid #1; and I'm Shipping Up to Boston, Dropkick Murphys (I just love songs with Boston in them).

*For those who are not obsessive Red Sox fans, Timlin enters to Black Betty.

First my left foot, then my right behind the other

I ran the Tufts 10K for Women today, and, despite the heat, I think I finished in about the same time as last year. Now, normally I'd be bummed that I didn't improve my time, but considering the fact that at one point I felt like the sun was burning the skin to my face, I was happy with the status quo. Plus, I had a lot of fabulous support at the race, including J.R. and Melanie with a really awesometastic sign. (And apparently, I had quite a few people who knew me at the race as well, as several people told J.R. "I know her!" I'm famous, people. World-wide.)

I can't say this was as good a run as last year considering I finished the day with some seriously impressive blisters and without a noticeable time improvement, but it was still amazing. My sister even walked it for the first time, and it was so cool to cheer for her when she and I passed each other on the course. Same time next year, people. Same time next year.

Now that's a new one

I've been running for over a year now, so I'm used to the odd runner friendliness -- it's a camraderie of sorts. But today I ran along the Charles River (an excellent place to run, though this is the first time I've actually been in the area to do so), and as I passed by two guys who were just walking along, one stuck his hand out as if to slap me five. Now, if this were the marathon, or even a race at all, I wouldn't have been surprised, but I was just out for a casual run, dude. Did I really look that bad? Monday, I'm hitting the Tufts 10K again, so come back and get me then. That's when I'll need the support. But thanks anyway.

A long, long way to run

I ran the Tufts 10K for Women today. I have to say, I'm wicked proud of myself. Ask me last year if I'd be running it today? No. Hell, ask me two years ago if I'd be running it today? Bigger no. But there I was, in the rain, running for 6.2 freaking miles. And it was glorious, people.

I was so nervous before the race started -- would I be able to finish? Would I have to walk? Would I trip and make a complete idiot of myself? My goals were low, and none of them involved time. I wanted to finish (upright and without puking), and that was about it. But once it started, I got into the spirit of the event. It was really cool to be running with all these women -- women who'd been running it for the last 29 years (and who were in better shape than me) and high-school girls running with their track team (who, it turns out, weren't necessarily in better shape than me). At one point, the course doubles back, and all of us normal human beings could watch the elite runners go past as we struggled forward. The woman next to me said, "Now that is a beautiful thing." And it was. It was even better when I got to run past the walking Pito and give her the high five -- I swear that kept me going for another mile.

I finished in 1:07:14, which was a lot faster than I anticipated. Pam was cheering us all from the finish line -- joined by Jen, and Candace and Stephanie once they finished. And when I finished, I cheered on Pito (that ACL is healing, girl!). That was the best 6.2 miles I can remember. Same time next year.

Update: My race photo set. More race photos here.

I love a rainy night

I decided to skip out for a run tonight (just after the Mystics almost came back against the Sun), while it was relatively cool and not raining. Foolishly, I thought I had enough time between storms to get in a run. Um, no, I did not. Jen and Sam accompanied me so I didn't have to feel so skeeved out about running around the pond late in the day, and I made it almost all the way to the end of my run before it started to rain. At first, it was kind of invigorating (and cooling). And then I just felt hardcore, which helped me get through the last leg of my run. And then, whilst Jen and I were walking home, it started to rain in earnest. I mean, really fucking rain, people. And at first we were blasé, like, oh, we can't get any wetter, right? Wrong. You can in fact get more wet. By the time we got home, my capri running pants were dragging to my ankles with the weight of water, and Sam looked like an otter. And Jen and I could not stop hysterically laughing.

As we dripped all over the hallway, Jen asked me if I wanted to take a shower first, and all I could say was, "I'm tired of water right now."

Call of nature

Look, I hate nature as much as the next urban girl, but there's a limit, people. I've been enjoying running outside a lot lately (well, enjoying might be a bit strong), and every day I run past these idiots talking on their cell phones whilst in the midst of taking a walk either through the arboretum or around the lake at Wellesley. Who does this? Who can't be separated from their phone long enough to enjoy taking a walk outside? I can enjoy the damn scenery and I'm focusing on gasping for breath, for crissakes. I'm just saying.

Post mortem

For all those eagerly awaiting a post-race wrap-up, here it is: I finished. I ran a little faster than I thought I would (35:13), but I managed to keep to my pace for the most part. I didn't walk a single damn step, and I didn't finish last. (Also, no death and no puking. Yay!) There are lots of pictures for you to gawk at my funny running face, so go ahead and click on over.

As for the impromptu trip to Ohio, I had an amazing time. Potentially life altering. Definitely mood altering. More details? Nope. Well, I will say this: There was this fucking annoying child behind me in line at the McDonald's in the Cincinnati airport -- kind of aggressive and loud and just obnoxious -- so I look over after I order, and I see his hat. I knew it. F-ing Yankees' fan.

Life barrels on like a runaway train

I've got my big 5K tomorrow, and I gotta tell you, I'm a little nervous. I don't know why; it's not like I really have any goals to meet. Mainly, my goals are: (in no particular order) to finish, to not finish last, to not fall, to not puke, and to not die. All in all, pretty reasonable goals, I think. Yet, still there are the nerves. Jen says she gets them before every race, too, so I don't feel quite as freakish. It may just be a Jen thing. Or it may because they call the whole thing a "race." I'm not racing anybody, people. I'm trying to run a predetermined length of road without humiliating myself. That's all.

One step at a time

Well, it's official: I'm running a 5K in T-minus 17 days. I don't know what's wrong with me. Yesterday, I made a special trip home so I could go for a run before having dinner with my family. I brought my gear with me today so I could run around the lake after work. I don't want to turn out like my crazy roommate, but I am sickly looking forward to the Sharon Timlin Memorial 5K Road Race. If you're in Hopkinton on June 18, feel free to cheer me on. I'll need all the help I can get.

I printed my name on the back of a leaf

I'm not obsessed, I swear, but I did really enjoy running around the lake after work yesterday. It was so freakin' beautiful, and there is something to be said for the brain-clearing effects of exercise. It's not that I don't think while I'm running (though it is mostly thoughts like, "Please god, let me die now" and "Don'tfalldon'tfalldon'tfall"), it's that your thinking is so ... detached. You can't get emotional about things because you have to focus your energy on important things, like forcing air into your lungs and not collapsing in a heap of misery.

The 5K is looking more likely, as it's 2.something miles around the lake, and I didn't have too much trouble with that. Also, Jen and I are going shopping for proper shoes tomorrow, and I'm ridiculously excited. Pictures to follow, I'm sure.

Run away

Okay, people, I have to admit it: I enjoyed my run this morning. It actually cleared my head -- for a little bit, anyway. Maybe I just enjoyed being outside. Maybe I've been beaten down by all the athletes around me. Maybe I liked it because it didn't hurt as much as the soccer did.

I don't know what it was, but it worries me. Suddenly, visions of 5Ks are dancing in my head. What? Shut up. Everybody needs a goal.

I got a callback from the wishing well

I'm not much of a runner (hell, I think we all know how I feel about exercise in any form), but sometimes, when you're feeling restless, pissed off, and generally like you wish the voices in your head would just shut the fuck up, going for a run seems like just the thing. I'm still a little raspy from my hideous disease, so I couldn't run for long or very quickly, but I did it anyway, because sitting still definitely wasn't helping. Unfortunately, with my kind of speed, I couldn't outrun my demons and I haven't come to any resolutions. I didn't even get a runner's high, dammit.

I did get sweaty, though, so there's something.

What have I done to deserve this?

I got up early this morning to watch Jen run in the Tufts 10K for Women (another good friend was running it as well, but we won't name names). As we all know, I'm pretty cheap for sports, and Jen's a good runner. Plus, who doesn't love clapping on the Common on a beautiful fall day? It's good times, people. The point is, I did it because we're friends. And, because Jen is the world's best roommate, friend, and cook ever, I crawled out of my room this afternoon to find her making apple butter. Mind you, Jen's never even had apple butter in her life, but she was making it from scratch anyway, because I had seen a recipe and mentioned how much I love the stuff. I have to tell you, this is the best fucking apple butter I've ever had. And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat a lot of it.

Born to run

Today was the Tufts 10K for Women in Boston, and the weather cooperated nicely. I was at the race to cheer on my girls (Jen, Jen, and April -- and, while there, Jen and I ran into our former roommate Jen, so I was cheering on three Jens and one April by the end. I know. Life as a Jen is complicated, people). I had a great time cheering on my friends; I am an excellent fan. I was trying to get the people around me more into it (a la the Wellesley Scream Tunnel), but I didn't have much luck. I was smart and wore my Wellesley t-shirt, and a couple of the runners pointed to me and said "Wellesley!" which got them an extra loud scream. What was really cool about the race was that it was all women -- all ages, all sizes, moms pushing their kids, women in wheelchairs, and women who are much older than me and in much better shape. It was ... inspiring. It almost made me want to run it myself next year. But I think I'm much better suited to the sidelines.