It's a hike

J.R., Carissa, Dustin and I went hiking on Whidbey Island yesterday, and whilst huffing and puffing my way to the top of the bluff, I wondered if it was worth it. Sights like this cool-ass tree made me think it kinda was. Plus, I totally rocked the step count on my FitBit. And I've finally seen Whidbey Island, the setting of the recent Elizabeth George novel I tore through.

It's like the Neverending Story but without the cool luck dragon or any fun at all

I'm trying once again to get my sorry ass in shape. Much like eating healthy, I feel this is a never-ending battle that I will probably bitch about for the rest of my life. (Sorry.) For those of you who've been following along for far too long, the days of my being able to run a 10K (hell, even a 5K at this point) are long past. I'd like to get back there, however, as getting out of breath going up the stairs is distinctly un-cool. To that end, I've made a goal with a friend to be able to run a 5K again by Thanksgiving. The only stipulations: no walking, no puking, no falling. It may take me three days to run this bitch, but by god, I'll do it. To further that end, J.R. and I bought FitBits last night. Sure, website-enabled activity tracking, blah, blah, blah. There are badges, people. And what are badges like? Achievements. And I think we all know what I will do for those.

Worked over

I finally tried my new Kinect game, Your Shape: Fitness Evolved, last night, and it totally kicked my ass. I wasn't expecting a whole lot from the game, just to get a decent workout. I barely got past the training portion before I was in pain. I'm know I'm not exactly in tip-top form now, but come on. I figured the only way to move past the tightness was to play it again tonight, but going for the more gentle Zen yoga/tai chi/breathing class. Um, yeah. What's with the plie-move, bitches? Because you can French it up all you want, I recognize a squat when I see one! And it hurts.

But I did get a couple of achievements, so clearly I'll be sticking with this one. And hopefully burning a few more calories along the way.

You run, and you keep on runnin'

I bought the shoes today. They're so cute, I love them ridiculously. I also love the guy at Marathon Sports who sold them to me. First, you have to love a man who compliments your "nice, high arches." That's right, yo. I'm glad someone else appreciates my fucking adorable feet. Second, you have to love a man wearing shorts in the middle of a cold, rainy New England day.

Once I had the shoes in hand, I needed new socks. Clearly. And new running pants. And a new running shirt. Yes, I've finally realized the best benefit of exercise: It's a perfect excuse to buy stuff. I'm also thinking: iPod. Totally necessary if I'm going to be spending all this time becoming buff.

More kicking, less screaming

I played pick-up soccer last night. Well, really, that should read "soccer," because I have no idea how to play the damn game, which was evident to all involved (most of whom also didn't know how to play). It was fun, though, except for when I had to stop and wheeze like an asthmatic. Which was often. I made a few goals, mostly on the strength of my teammates' passes, and I made a few blocks on goal, mostly due to giving up the body. Because, yes, I am freakishly competitive and what are a few bruises compared to stopping someone else from scoring? I took a particularly well-kicked ball to the arm/chest, and I was sure I was going to have a spectacular bruise to show y'all, but no. My legs are several different shades of purple, however, and I think if this keeps up, I'm going to need shin guards. And perhaps full-body armor.

Exercising my blogging muscles

So, I'm exercising tonight, and let me establish this right now: I hate it. I hate exercise. It sucks. (You know that endorphin rush crazy-runner-types rave about? They're nuts. Don't listen to them. You're bored, you're sweaty, it sucks.) So, to initiate the complete dorkdom, I'm reading Wired magazine whilst riding the bike. Enough geekery for anyone (and I keep noticing how much the magazine design looks like web design. And then I keep reminding myself that it's supposed to). Not for a second while reading the magazine do I forget that I am simultaneously peddling up and down imaginary hills, on imaginary trails that do not exist. I am not going anywhere, and I'd rather be on the couch watching the post-game show.

The mind wanders (as mine in particular is so wont to do), and I start thinking about redesigning my site. Setting up a test site, what I want to change, what I want to keep, and as I'm laying things out in my head, I forget that I'm exercising. For several glorious moments, I completely forget. I've discovered the key to a healthy lifestyle: distraction via blog. I should write an article: How Blogging Saved My Health. Maybe if I got one of those nifty machines with the computer and internet all built in, I could become the Buffest Woman Alive. Or, at least, the Buffest Woman Alive Who Also Drinks Way Too Much Mountain Dew.

Aftershocks

Sonofabitch, my arms are sore today. Apparently, attempting to extract a cone from your wheel is quite the upper body workout. Perhaps I should keep this up until I get Linda Hamilton arms?

Just imagine the damage I could do to traffic cones around the city.

Voyage to the center of me

I had a somewhat revealing conversation with Jen last night (god, I love how that makes me sound so crazy. Like not only do I talk to myself, but I talk to myself in the third person). Point being, long talks late at night over tea are inherently good for revealing weird things about yourself.

For instance, I've been feeling very blah lately. (Like you couldn't tell from my abysmal blogging?) At the same time, I've been making a very concerted effort to take care of myself -- eat right, exercise, boring, boring, boring, healthy, healthy, healthy. Somehow these two things have become linked in my mind. Okay, actually, I think I've become boring while I've become healthy. Like somehow broccoli has leached away my sense of humor. Could it also be that I've been busy at work, busy at home, and getting sick at the same time? Sure, but it's much easier to blame the broccoli. And then I could have a nice cold frosty one and go back to being me.

I also discovered today whilst reading someone's "100 things" list that I distrust people who claim to not watch TV or to even own a TV. That's just ... freaky. That's nothing to be proud of, people! It's a cause for shame, much like having a blog where the predominant color is pink. I just can't take you seriously enough to stick around and read.

I think what we've learned here is that I don't trust people who don't watch TV, and I don't trust healthy people. This does not sound good. But I'm okay with that.

Biking to nowhere

I did it: I bought a NordicTrack SL 700 exercise bike. I knew that I was going to have to invest some money to sufficiently motivate me to get off my ass and away from the computer, TV, etc. And now my muscles are all a quiver from putting the thing together (not quite as light or easy as my Sears salesman would have me believe -- Jen, Pam, and I took all the parts out of the box in my driveway and took the pieces up the stairs). I may be too wiped out from assembly to actually use the thing tomorrow.