I went to the grocery store after work today to pick up some food for lunch. (Despite no longer being single, I still frequently have the sad single girl food basket: Lean Cuisines and cans of soup.) Whilst perusing the soup aisle, I went past a woman with a little boy in her cart. As I walked by, he reached out and hit me with his Cheeto. I'm not sure what was meant by this maneuver, but I'm pretty sure it was some kind of challenge. Some kind of message, like "hey, sad soup lady, this is my aisle. I rule here. If you want by, you're going to have to pay. Preferably in Cheetos." He took a bite of his Cheeto to emphasize his point -- and, I'm pretty sure, to indicate what could happen to me if I didn't pay. The woman told him, "Be nice. Don't hit people." But I understood. You can't just let people walk all over your turf. Sometimes, you gotta cut a bitch.
Or hit them with your Cheeto. Whichever.