Twisted and wrong

I had a Minute Maid "fruit soda" this morning. This is wrong on so many levels, it's hard to even put it into words. First, the can proudly proclaims that this beverage is made "with real fruit juice!" Now, if I wanted fruit juice, I would have gone to the juice machine. Second, this beverage is not a fruit soda -- it's orange pop. I was a little concerned before drinking it that it would be a fruit soda and I'd have to spit it out in a comical display of Jen's body reacting negatively to anything containing essential nutrients, but no. And the final and most twisted and wrong thing about this whole episode: I wanted a root beer. I pushed the button for the root beer (a Barq's -- it's got bite). The machine gave me Valencia Orange fruit soda.

All because my Mountain Dew wasn't cold yet.