Monday, March 15

Crisis narrowly averted; new problems arise

I went to my local CVS yesterday to replenish my sadly depleted stock of cinnamon Tic Tacs. I'm very excited (the way you can be only when you're at a drugstore and you're browsing, for chrissakes) because the 6-pack of cinnamon Tic Tacs are on sale. Score! I snag one of those and add it to my disturbingly large pile of stuff-I-really-don't-need-from-CVS.

When I bust out the Tic Tacs later, I discover to my horror that the Tic Tacs are now 30% larger. Why? Why are my Tic Tacs bigger? The package claims that there is now "more enjoyable freshness," but this lump of cinnamon-y goodness is just a trifle too big now. And now each 1 1/2 calorie breath-mint is 1.9 calories. What are they going to do now? Market themselves as the 1.9 calorie breath-mint? When is the madness going to end, people?

And now my mouth is too red-hot-y instead of just-cinnamon-y enough. My whole equilibrium is off. I'm canceling the rest of the week.

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