Tuesday, November 16

Apparently, I'll settle for Mr. Write

I love how the internet makes it oh-so-easy to have a crush on someone's writing. It used to be that all crushing-out was wasted on teen idols or Brad Pitt and George Clooney. And Drew Barrymore. And sometimes Jodie Foster, because she's hot. And Mark Bellhorn. Or anyone remotely associated with the Sox. And occasionally, that guy with the really blue eyes who serves pizza down the street. Regardless, my crushes used to be reserved for physical attraction, but lo! No more. Now I can intellectually crush out on whomever I want, and today I have chosen Bill Simmons, aka the Sports Guy. At first I thought it was a passing fancy; anyone who can write that brilliantly about the Red Sox has clearly been touched by the hand of god. But, no. Today I read his column on the NBA. I read the whole thing. On the NBA. I don't like the NBA. Boys playing basketball kinda freaks me out. (It may be because most of the players violate my one-foot rule.*) The man compared the San Antonio Spurs to the cast of Cheers. The cast of Cheers, people. He's a mad sports genius and I must have 10,000 of his babies. Or just read his column everyday. Whichever.

*The one-foot rule clearly states that I cannot be attracted to anyone more than one foot taller than me. Some exceptions may be made if and when I feel like it.

No comments: