Thursday, December 23

The ocean washed away

I finally saw Ocean's Twelve; my date with Clooney, Pitt, and Damon was long overdue. Now truly, George is my boy -- any one who has ever seen Out of Sight can testify that the man is sex -- but the other fellas are nice, too. And Julia didn't ruin the first one, so this one should be good, even for a sequel. Alas, I blocked out the part about Catherine Zeta-Jones. I'm hating her more and more with every film she ruins. What the fuck, Batman? How do you ruin a George Clooney movie?! Sure, she did it with Intolerable Cruelty, but I thought the combined forces of Cheadle, Damon, Affleck (Casey), et al, would overpower her enjoyment-squashing, movie-ruining "acting," but no. My boys couldn't take her. She's worse than Godzilla. Why, god, why? It was going to be a fun movie. Fun, people. Fun. Tragically, it sucked. The plot was weak. The good-natured joking popped up in a few places, but not frequently enough to distract me from the gaping black hole that is CZJ. And while the first movie was smart and kept you guessing, this one pulled some lame, weak-ass shit that a 2-year-old could have figured out in his sleep. Another George Clooney movie down the drain. Dammit.

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