Thursday, June 30


If you're in a convenience store and you see a woman who looks suspiciously like me take off her shoe and begin to beat another customer with it, please don't judge, people. I'm sure that woman (who I'm not saying is me) has a really, really good reason for wanting to beat that man with a shoe. I mean, maybe she was innocently trying to buy some milk, holding the door to the the refrigerator section open with her hip, when some overly hurried man came up behind her, opened the door wider, and reached around her to grab something. Say maybe after the aforementioned jackass, I mean, man, did this, he followed her to the check-out line where clearly she was there first. But, being the polite (read: not a total jackass) woman that she is, she checked with the other woman waiting to see if she was next. And say, after the other waiting customer gave her the go-ahead, she turned to put her stuff on the check-out counter only to find that the complete and utter jackass had cut in front of her. At which point, she wants so badly to whip off her shoe and beat the man with it, but she refrains and merely says in her mother's "loud enough so you can hear me, ass-clown" voice, "Wow, you really are a jackass."

I'm just saying these things could happen, people. And who are we to judge when a woman deems it necessary to beat a man with her shoe?

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