Wednesday, January 21

I get up early for no man

Unless you're the new president of the United States, and sweet baby Jesus, you're finally a fucking Democrat. Then I will haul my unemployed ass out of bed at 8 a.m. just to watch you walk down hallways, make inspiring speeches, and kick that other one out the door. Ladies and gentlemen, our 44th president is already getting down to the important and difficult work before us: making me get up early, one day at a time.

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