Wednesday, July 13


Leigh pointed out the delights of the Best of Craigslist to me the other day, and we discovered this gem: Lazy girl seeks same in boy form, wherein the girl describes her top 10 worst traits. And you know how I love lists, so I think you know where we're headed . . .

1. I'm stubborn. And I always think I'm right. Technically, this may be two faults, but I'm lumping them together because they really go hand in hand. Essentially, if we ever get into a fight, just know now that I will never, ever give up. Which leads us to the next point . . .
2. I remember everything. Yes, this could go in the "plus" column, but not if we ever have a fight. Sure, I'll remember how we met, and what you said on our first date, and virtually everything nice thing you've ever said in your entire lifetime. I'll also remember every single time you didn't pick up your socks. I will be able to recite, word for word, anything you've ever said that could be used against you to my advantage. I'm just warning you now.
3. I can be kind of lazy. If "sit on ass and watch sports" is an option, it's the one I will always choose. (Unless the sport in question is golf, and then all of sudden, I will want to go for a long nature walk.)
4. I don't like to talk about my feelings and will go for the joke deflection whenever possible. (And if that doesn't work, I'll try just staring at you blankly.)
5. I like stuff. I like accumulating it. I like fast cars, and CDs, and DVDs, and books, and just stuff. I'm not materialistic, I just like to hoard.
6. I don't like to share.
7. I can be mean. The bad news? I'm good at it.
8. I can be a teeny, tiny, little bit anal retentive. I like things the way I like them. And this covers everything from grammar to how things are arranged on my desk. So don't fuck with my shit, yo.
9. I don't take criticism well. (Just ask my boss whenever she tries to edit my writing. Or my roommate whenever she points out that I'm being a freak. Or anyone who has ever criticized me.)
10. I talk a lot. Obviously. This may or may not lead to the "not knowing when to shut up," which I like to put in the "plus" column under "direct."

Please feel free to point out any other failings that I may have missed.

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